Val & Tony’s Best Dating Fails
We're less than a week to Valentine's Day, and want you to learn from the mistakes we've made and/or witnessed others make! Here's our favorite fails from our love lives.
Val's "Hot, Spoiled (and Completely Douchey)" Would-Be Suitor
**Note: You may need a shower after reading this one. It's bad. Names have have been removed, spelling mistakes have been left in.**
"I liked your smile in your profile I thought I would send you a quick message. My name is (name deleted) I am an attorney here in buffalo. I mostly represent hotels and restaurants all over the state. I love going out to eat and currently on a 6 week tour of different cities checking out their 1 restaurant. I have had some great food. I like buffalo but it is really hard to meet cool people that are brave enough to venture out of their group of friends and hang out with new people. I know that Im just what you need. Hot, spoiled, and studied at schools all over the world. I know 4 martial arts and 5 massage techniques and bring the heat when I need to. I run my own business and travel when I feel like it. I am young enough to stay up all night, and will relax with a glass of wine if that is your desire. You have a unique charm in these pics, entice me more... drop me an email maybe we can get to know each other better."
Tony's Romantic Chase
My freshman year of college I liked this girl in my group of friends and was afraid to let her know. We were kind of digging each other, so I wrote a love poem that I planned on reading to her (I realize this sounds dumb but it was 1995 and I thought it was romantic). My roommate and I went to the bars that night, and then I quickly exited without him knowing because I didn't want him to know what I was doing. On my way back to campus I was chased by some guys who tried to jump me. Luckily I was in much better shape then I am now and I was able to outrun them. Unfortunately they just ended up jumping someone else so I felt bad and went back to help that guy. Long story short, I spent the night working with the police instead of reading love poems. Good news is that we caught the guy and I testified in court...bad news is that there is a girl from 1995 SUNY Fredonia who never got her love poem.
Val's Cheesy Valentine's Gift
No joke, my boyfriend of 4 years once presented me with a bag of string cheese for Valentine's Day. He said, "This is for you to eat, when you're here in the apartment, alone." Didn't take long to end the relationship after that.
Tony's Dinner Disaster
Back in the day I took a Valentine's Day date to a romantic dinner at a restaurant downtown. Armed with flowers and my witty charm, my date and I had an amazing evening. Then the bill came and to my horror I did not have my wallet. This was one of the most embarrassing moments ever because I went all out on dinner, ordering ridiculous things just to do it. Luckily my date had a credit card and was able to cover it, but it was a bad look overall and needless to say the relationship didn't last.