You’ll never believe this, but the media is accusing yet another female celebrity of not having the perfect body. This time the culprit is Lady Gaga, who allegedly gained 25-30 pounds (*gasp!* *judgmental eyebrow-raising*) in the last several months.

Apparently the pop singer is attributing the weight gain to the delicious food at her father’s new Italian restaurant in New York City. She also told ABC, “I really don’t feel bad about it, not even for a second. I have to be on such a strict diet constantly. It’s hard because it’s a quite vigorous show, so I tend to bulk up, get muscular, and I really don’t like that. So I’m trying to find a new balance.”

So, if I understand correctly, what she’s saying is that she gave her body a slight break from strenuous workouts, a fully packed schedule and strict (and potentially unhealthy) dieting to enjoy time with her family at their new restaurant? And she doesn’t even feel bad about it? What an abomination! A gluttonous pig!

When news of this atrocity first came out about a week or so ago, my Twitter feed blew up with jokes regarding Gaga’s new physique. It was real quality stuff, like “Lady Gaga makes a HUGE fashion statement” and “Lady Gaga’s having food baby.” Get it? Jokes.

Demoralizing a woman based on what she looks like isn’t anything new, but this time everyone really seemed to jump aboard the finger-pointing, fat-hating ship with headlines like “Suddenly shy! Lady Gaga covers up fuller figure in long-sleeved coat after THOSE pictures,” or “Porker Face! Has Lady Gaga put on 2st on the drunk diet?” or my personal favorite due to its extreme originality, “The fat Lady Gaga sings.”

Even with a few extra pounds, Gaga is certainly not unhealthy. In fact, I’d even be surprised if she’d be considered overweight. Just this past June, Elton John was calling her frail and tiny, and tabloids have accused her of being way too skinny in the past. So, first she’s too skinny, and now she’s too fat? Come on.

Yet this is what’s drilled into our heads consistently by movies, magazines, television and advertisements. You eat too much, and you’re a fat cow. You eat too little, and you’re gross and frail. You eat just right, and uh, well, you probably have a big nose or something. Is this what we’ve become? A society of Regina Georges?

Perhaps it’s naïve of me to think that we should live in a world where Lady Gaga’s weight isn’t breaking news. Perhaps it’s also naïve of me to think that we should be caring more about the fact that 35.7 percent of Americans are obese, or that anorexia is the third-most common chronic illness among adolescents.

Or maybe we should just keep our fingers crossed that Gaga crosses over from “a few extra pounds” to “morbidly obese” so we can give her a reality show. That way, instead of judging, we can just laugh at her. But, hey, that’d be nothing new.

The media vs. body image is a tired battle. We live in a great country but do tend to mix up our priorities from time to time. The truth is that Lady Gaga may not be a size zero every single day of the year. But who cares? Really? WHO. CARES. I don’t. And I vote that we all try to direct our caring toward something else. Or at the very least find whoever wrote this, and punch them directly in the face.